Where the hell is my "click"?

I have read and watched enough weight loss stories to fill many Krispy Kreme boxes yet hearing all of them have not made me have this AHA! moment. Every story starts very much the same as if they all had a secret conference and conspired to have this united statement as well as hiding this personal invitation to this "click"moment, you know what I'm talking about. How is it all these people have had this thing just "CLICK" inside of them that says "Enough fucking about lets get on the straight and narrow.". Apparently this thing is so strong it overwhelms you and you just have to follow it, so you start eating tuna out of the can, steaming broccoli and before you know it your standing in one leg of your old fat pants. Well, damn it all, I want my "CLICK", I want the overwhelming sense of enough is enough and get on the ball. I don't want my click to be when I can't bend over to pick up my kids or stop for breath on the stairs or someone asking me how far along I am to get it either. I want it now!

 For now I am fighting an uphill battle of doing it alone. If I am not going to have some Ghandi revelation then I will make my own. I am doing this 30 day thing staring down the barrel of thirty. Its not easy and I don't really want to but I do (if that makes any sense). So to help me do this I employed my husband to be my "bitch in the corner". I am not the person that prefers to be treated with kid gloves and told politely that if I just take little baby steps it will change. I know that is not true. I need a good kick in the ass to do...well anything. I asked my darling husband Ravi to give it to me straight, to be rude and to kick my ass out of bed literally if and when I need it. I need and want to be told "What are you doing eating that?" or "You better get a run in before the kids wake up, so get up NOW.". He is my Jillian Michaels, who by the way I love to hate. I curse at her during her workouts and would love to punch her right on her abs of Jesus. He gave me the side eye at first like "Dear Lord this is a trap, I just know it.". I reassured him I would not throat punch him if he took Ben and Jerry's out of my hand.

Day 2 is going strong. I have not had any food temptations and even trouble eating enough calories. I am trying to attain 1,639 calories a day. I filled up on crab meat, vegetables, thai noodles, oatmeal, a slice of cheese and copious amounts of water.I have to make sure I do eat enough solely for the fact that I am still breastfeeding my 9 month old and I will not sacrifice that for getting in shape.


Day one- I ran 3 miles in the morning and I wanted to do abs but did not.
Day two- Thirty day shred workout level one, walked 3 miles with the kids in the stroller.